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to_the_garden
10 November 2009 @ 09:01 pm
Last week, I was detained by the USPS for inciting minor fears of terrorism. I mailed some live fish last week, and I was tracking them online, when I saw that they they stopped in Columbia with the comment 'incorrect zip code or address - return to sender' followed by 'forwarded to a different address' and I was freaking out because I hadn't bothered to put a return address and they would die in 48 hours because they would get too cold after the 72 hour heat pack wore out. But I went back to the post office the next day to drop off some other fish I'd sold, when the postal worker (who I'd talked to about the fish I was shipping), points at me and says, "You! Don't go anywhere, you can't leave until you talk to my boss." A few seconds later, there's a Big Guy standing there to lead me to  the back room. So, I'm thinking, I really don't want to go in the back room, because bad things generally happen in back rooms. The story about a sister of a prof I once had  who was detained (and released) in Sudan in the '90s came to mind, but I couldn't come up with anything I'd done that would warrant  back room treatment, and we're in America, we have miranda rights, speedy trial guarantee, other stuff from US history class... which meant way more  before 9/11. So, off to the back room we go,  which is full of sorted boxes from floor to ceiling  and a loading bay and generally kind of lame for a back room. The Big Guy leaves me there and comes back with a phone. According to the boss, who is on the phone, apparently one bag leaked, which drew attention to the fact that it didn't have a return address.  And, when they x-rayed it, three bags of liquid showed up, so of course they had to evacuate and it delayed mail leaving columbia by a few hours which costs them and blah blah blah, long story short, he was just glad that it turned out to be fish and not a bomb and that he didn't have to call homeland security. Then, he lectured me on the importance of putting return addresses on things. I'm sitting there thinking an apology totally doesn't cover it and there's gotta be an adult response to this situation that I don't have with a little bit of  don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. And, they let me go. But on the bright side,  I was 15 minutes late to Mathematical methods, and another dude  walked in at the same time I did, and the prof looked discomfited but didn't stop talking, so I interrupted him to say that I was detained by the USPS for inciting minor fears of terrorism. What's your excuse?

Also, 2/3 of the fish made it.

Also, Also, all three of the fortune cookies I've gotten from different brands in the last two weeks say things to the effect of 'listen to your friends in the next week to get the answers you seek'.

Tags:
 
 
Current Music: Twilight Galaxy - Metric (discovered I like the acoustic)
 
 
to_the_garden
21 October 2009 @ 06:07 pm
I sold my old school violin and I bought a horse with the money. His name was originally named Copper, now renamed Sunny, after my father, who wasn't totally happy about that. He's every inch a $300 horse. He's a chestnut with a white blaze national show horse,  a little over pony sized with a nice face, very nice deep shoulders, doable hips (especially for an arabian cross).  He's got tons of endurance, and likes to run. He'll also follow you around like a dog. He also bites, likes to bolt for no discernible reason, hates his bit and will rear if you catch him in the mouth, but refuses to listen to a kinder bit. What drives me nuts is the running. You could be asking him for a nice smooth circle and next thing you know he's stretched out galloping across the pasture heading nowhere or over to that tree or to a person or to the dude who owns the pasture's house or to the next gate. He'll turn any way you want him to, so he doesn't have anywhere specific in mind, he's running just to run, and he grabs the bit in his teeth so that you can't stop him...from running nowhere, for no discernible reason.  That dark spot is the antibacterial spray on a spot where one of the other horses bit him.




 
 
to_the_garden
Last week, my uncle  lost his job as an auto mechanic at a dealership. Apparently, they all went out to lunch one day and when they came back the FBI was there. The secretary went to find out what was happening, and after a bit, she calls everyone into her office to tell them that none of them have jobs anymore. Their boss had been using his cocaine business to support his car dealership and their last year or so of paychecks were almost entirely from cocaine money.



I thought going home early to take the Physics GRE offered in my hometown might be more convenient. HA!  I didn't realize it, but there seems to be a kind of college etiquette surrounding people with tests which does not exist at home.

1) People wanting stuff: My mother and her  teacher's association revolution against Mark Sanford which apparently she needed help organizing due to lack of e-mail savvy, which I wouldn't mind if I weren't taking the test that determines the REST OF MY LIFE in two days.

2) My father's insane expectation that I fix him something to eat before he goes to work and when he gets back. I suspect my mother trained him poorly.

3) My need to use the couch for studying, (due to my lack of a desk), ranking slightly less important than other peoples' need to sleep on aforementioned couch, in the middle of the day, despite the fact that they have beds and snore loudly.

4) Complete and utter lack of food in the house, combined with disappearing car: After the car disappeared for maintenence, I discovered  without the ability to pick something up for lunch/dinner you generally starve cuz the parents aren't necessarily going to feed you.

5) Wild cards that somehow become more important than the test that's only offered once every six months: My grandmother fell in an Applebee's and because my grandfather had an eye appointment,  I ended up being volunteered to stay with her. I expected her to be having trouble getting out of bed or standing to cook, but when we get there she's outside gardening

My father was talking about getting back home around noon, but instead we get back at four-thirty.  I wouldn't have even gone, but arguing with someone on 45 minutes of sleep total is difficult. So, all the work I put into it yesterday  ( all night minus 45 minutes) to be caught up enough to finish early today and be on something resembling a normal sleeping schedule  was pointless, because I lost seven hours today. Also, I'm getting sick, because on 45 minutes of sleep,  I have a crappy immune system and don't have the ability to plan well enough  to grab an umbrella when its' raining and cold.


Okay, done ranting.


 
 
to_the_garden
28 July 2008 @ 11:00 pm
According to shark week,  you are more likely to be killed by a falling coconut while standing on the beach, than by a shark while in the surf. That thought has amused me all day.
 
 
to_the_garden
27 July 2008 @ 01:17 pm
A friend of mine is leaving for Texas tomorrow for grad school. I gonna miss him, he's pretty much a kindred spirit, one of the few people to whom I don't have to explain what I mean or defuse when they misunderstand something I've said, who can turn my fuzzier thoughts into something solid, and gets my jokes and laughs when nobody else does. But who could do all that from the get-go, without having known me for years. So I'm a little bit sad, but happy for him.

...he's also the only physics major metrosexual I've ever seen, and is much prettier than the rest of us. The department will be an uglier place without him.
 
 
to_the_garden
19 July 2008 @ 05:34 pm
So, this summer I've been living at a house in Charleston that has a) a balcony b) a dude named Andrew who is the best cook you could possibly ask for c) a American bulldog by the name of Boss  (who is apparently a rescued  grandson of the dog Chance from Homeward Bound and d) a band living downstairs. So Thursday night, we went to the midnight showing of  the new Batman movie. Between the writing and Heath Ledger's acting, it was freakin' awesome.  There were some parts that were actually scary, like when you have this, 'Hey that's a suicide bomber...that looks like America' moment  where you realize how constantly terrifying it must be to live in Iraq, and then it  hits you that he didn't issue any demands.   So, if you like your action with commentary on humanity and with some Batman, who coincidentally was there too, OMG go see it!   After dragging my ass out of bed for work the same day and then getting off,  I went to the Band Who Lives Downstairs' concert, which they got us into for free, so that was  better than garage band, but  hey it's live music that I'd only been hearing pieces of at a time. You can hear the guitar guy though the vents in the shower in the afternoon, and the drummer through the floor around ~11ish.  So, the whole thing togeather was nice. From there we stopped by the last bit of a reading by Toni Morrison of her new book, which was free w/ Student ID AND came with coffee. So, I came back, crashed and just woke up.  Good is life.
 
 
to_the_garden
08 May 2008 @ 02:08 am
So I was watching a Charlie Rose interview with Paola Antonelli, the director of an exhibit at the MOMA called Design and the Elastic Mind and after looking up the website I suddenly find myself absolutely enamored with:

http://www.moma.org/exhibitions/2008/elasticmind/


The projects really varied. Some saved animals and trees, the Pig Wings project on organ growth, Victimless Leather, and Digital Paper. Some of them are re-hatching other ideas, like the biblioroll, which is basically an Amazon Kindle ripoff. But others like the Atlas Gloves, which are a physical interface for modeling or sites like google:earth, make me want to cry. I've seen galaxy cluster modeling programs that will let you do something like this, but they are primitive compared to a physical interface. Jesus, it's just the idea of manipulating the universe when you can hold it in your hands. I think the thing I really liked most was the search for a software design platform slightly friendlier than open source, of which I remain frightened despite my programming classes in Java and Python. Ignoring the fact that adding design considerations makes it occasionally the most fucking annoying website in the history of websites and that seeing the exhibit in person, while ridiculously cool, is too expensive for me, Go MOMA, Go!

Anybody else get the feeling that we are heading towards another Renaissance?
 
 
to_the_garden
04 April 2008 @ 12:43 am
I was talking to my grandmother yesterday, and one of her aunts (circa 1930s) apparently had a husband who beat her every time he came home drunk. One night after he'd returned and beaten her, he fell asleep. So, she pours kerosene all over him, grabs the box of matches, and lights one. But, he wakes up. Smelling kerosene, and seeing his recently beaten wife in front of him with a match, he runs out the door toward the field. So she chases right behind, the only problem being that when you are outside and/or running, matches you strike blow out easily. So, off she goes running after her drunken kerosene-soaked husband, striking match after match after match. She never caught him, but he never beat her or came home drunk again.
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
to_the_garden
08 February 2008 @ 10:17 am


From: http://www.xmlgrrl.com/blog/
At least he didn't thank Ray-Ray and Peaches...he was kinda cute back in the day.
 
 
to_the_garden
11 January 2008 @ 12:02 am
Things I'm tempted to buy with my refund check:  )

Also, We also made eggrolls for dinner from

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_33383,00.html (stupid hyperlinks and html)

I swear I love Rachael Ray, but her recipes are nowhere near as amazing as Emeril's.

Total grocery cost: $13 minus the cabbage which was free
Total cook/prep time: 75 min
Yield: 20 egg rolls
 
 
to_the_garden
08 January 2008 @ 09:20 pm
I've been shopping and to other places. Since my grandmother's house burned back in July, we've been helping her clean/replace stuff, actually just about everything. She bought, among other things a 56'' HD flatscreen tv, and an absolutely beautiful chandelier, which I have already staked my claim on. I told her that when she dies, while everyone else is eating after the wake, that I'm coming to her house with a box and a screwdriver, and I'm taking it with me. She laughed about that and said she was going to haunt each and every piece of furniture AND the house.

My grandmother's town, Ridgeway, is very very small. Everybody knows everybody. We went to the only furniture store in her town, to buy a new leather sofa and lazyboy. My grandmother apparently used to work for the family who owned the store and kept calling the salesman his brother's name, and talking about all the dishes she used to wash in their kitchen. She also asked the woman who was working in the store to tell her mother-in-law she that the lamp she bought had been messed up in the fire and that she was buying from them again. The woman told us later that her mother-in-law had been dead for years. Yesterday, they delivered the new furniture she picked out; without her ever signing anything. First time I ever seen furniture delivered without setting up a payment plan or signing anything.

After the shopping, Angela and I ran into my uncle and decided to go shooting (I only shot once, and then they took the gun away) and horseback riding on the new horse my uncle got from my cousin. Her name is Oreo, and she's a black and white Tennessee Walker, that is well-trained but bad-tempered. She bites and will kick at you. She also has terrible teeth and feet (her feet don't hurt, one just has a horizontal split halfway up that will take months to regrow). We also think she's just about deaf, which turned out to be a good thing, she didn't twitch at the shooting. The other two horses were running circles around us and trying to hide behind us. If you've ever tried to hold a horse that's doing this, it's a little bit like fishing, except they can knock you down and drag you. FYI, don't play tug-a-war with them. Whenever the horse goes to run, you pull on the inside rein so he circles around you. Then when he tries to hide behind you, which really amounts to knocking you over because he's not paying attention, keep him circling and yank to get him to stop. Also, talk to him, preferably not in a panicked high-pitched screaming tone of voice. So, I didn't get run over, but Zero and Jetta didn't get ridden either. Poor Oreo wasn't frightened by the shooting, but had to put up being ridden and not getting to bite the little kids hanging all over her. I'm starting to think that most ponies and small horses actually hate children.
 
 
to_the_garden
17 December 2007 @ 12:04 am
So after 3 repair people and 5 1/2 days, we have a dial tone and therefore internet again. Life is once again good.
 
 
to_the_garden
09 December 2007 @ 01:20 am
So, Thursday, my grandmother had to be taken to the hospital with bronchitis. Hilarity ensued. Ordinarily, she picks on everybody, but apparently when you give old ladies prescription levels of codine, they do out of character things. Such as slapping the butts of nurses, and not the young pretty ones. EVERY extra large butt that she saw, she slapped it and then giggled about it.

She also kept trying to tip them, with a check, for $1. We stayed with her last night, and every five minutes until after 5am when I fell asleep and the nurse came in, she kept trying to escape to the 'kitchen', which is actually the nurses station. So, :is tired: and I have to work the Obama thing tomorrow. Hopefully, ambiance will lend me energy.

Also, apparently the plumber was an assassin during Vietnam. Like Steven Segal, except that he's so messed up psychologically that he doesn't like to be around other people. And all I can wonder is for his sake or theirs or both.
 
 
to_the_garden
30 November 2007 @ 04:01 pm
 
 
to_the_garden
29 November 2007 @ 06:16 pm
So, apparently Oprah (and Barack) will be coming to our area in two weeks!! AND as Barack volunteers we get to meet them (more like shake hands backstage), but that's okay!!!!! 
 
 
to_the_garden
28 November 2007 @ 12:40 am
While, on one hand, reassembling and resurrecting millenia-old dead viruses from inside our genes, and using information on them to hunt HIV, is quite possibly the coolest thing I've read recently, it's also the scariest.

I'm not entirely sure what to make of the article in the New Yorker on endogenous retroviruses (ancient virus pieces that are found in our cells from where retroviruses, like HIV, have killed off lots of us and been adapted to by our species' predecessors and as a result left peices of themselves behind in the survivors who passed them on to their descendants, which is us).  I just keep thinking, it's like that X-Files movie, y'know before you add the whole alien invasion element. 

On the other hand, I'm having a heck of a time trying to understand how dangerous these viruses are.  They were passed down to the offspring that you have to be alive to make. So they had stopped being lethal back in the day because they were adapted to. But the defenses that make them no longer lethal are as old and chopped up by a few million years of replication errors as the viruses themselves are (Think Hadrian's Wall).  Also, some of them are old enough to affect a lot of different species (they could kill you and your dog and your grass and trees). They must be pretty good for experimentation though, because of ease of finding an animal species for experimentation, you don't have to put human genes in mice to experiment, the mice (since they are relatives) would  already have the viruses. Hopefully,  those viruses have now been reassembled in a controlled approximation (i.e. in a form where they can't replicate). 

The best part of the article was toward the end, something about killing HIV by speeding up it's life cycle, making it literally grow old ( by MILLENIA in just DAYS ) by collecting replication errors, is f-ing cool; Unless it's like creating fast moving HIV, which would definately be another way of getting rid of HIV, except for, you know, that whole unimaginable evil aspect. 
  
And because this is a shameless excuse for it,  a quote from the X-Files,  "For God's sake, Mulder, you've got it all backwards! AIDS, the Ebola virus, on an evolutionary scale they are newborns. This virus walked the planet long before the dinosaurs" Mulder: "What do you mean walked?"
 
 
to_the_garden
26 November 2007 @ 09:37 pm

Ever had one of those mornings where you didn't sleep much and you're tired and your girl problems kicked off yesterday. And you trudge into the bathroom and look in the mirror (albeit w/o glasses) and think:  My eyes look kinda pretty, and my hair looks kinda sexy just after I unclip it, and my skin is the exact shade that allows me to wear bright neon green and pull it off, and as for my figure, I would totally do me...and even though your appearance shouldn't matter (sometimes looking nerdy is an advantage when trying to outnerd competition), your whole morning is better.  So if you've had a morning  like that, sing it with me (& Maria),

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.

See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!


 
 
 
to_the_garden
24 November 2007 @ 01:13 am

 
I have been trying to figure out abstract expressionism lately, but all I get from some of the paintings are just utter chaos. I see Rothko's and think that all I'd like are a few more shapes. This probably makes me a cretin. I do like this one though.


 
 
 
to_the_garden
15 November 2007 @ 11:36 pm
This graph, on Iraq war spending versus energy research is depressing: see here  (its also in millions of dollars).

So apparently, my cousin went to turn in his resignation from his other job so that he could sign up to go, and not only does his boss start literally crying that she doesn't want him to go, she also signs him up for classes, paid for by the company, which within 6 months will upgrade him to a pay grade that will have him making the equivalent of what he would have made by going. Humans are cool. 

I have turned my e-harmony account back on, because I figure they will do a special for christmas/thanksgiving, I'm probably gonna post parts of profiles here. 

E-harmony's personality profile is very upbeat, excerpt from mine:

General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences

You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.

You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.



Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking

You drive through life faster than the speed limit, and when you hit speed bumps, and you hit a lot of them with your mind distracted from the straight line ahead your wheels leave the ground.

For people who like life at a safer speed, you move too fast and lose touch too often with the solid ground they prefer, hence their discomfort with you. As odd as you might find this, many people feel safe in the shelter of the world they already know. They like the familiar. They breathe easily and sleep deeply knowing with more certainty how the world works. So although they might enjoy your company and be curious about your latest notion of how to count backwards by threes, they can only take you in small doses. And they wish you'd quit trying to push the boundaries of their personal and social cosmos.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

Even those whom you make uncomfortable know, as just about everyone does, that you're not a flake. You think well, and even your wildest fancies have their roots in the deep soil of sound ideas and tested beliefs. So even if some people don't want to drive at high speed with you, they will respect you for your courage as an innovative and unconventional thinker. You lend color and imagination to what would otherwise be the straight black and white lines of their work world and social environments.

A few more daring people of your circle might even learn from you to take a risk they would otherwise never consider. As comfortable as they are on solid ground, they may be curious about what it would be like to go faster than the speed limit, or paint the living room two shades of blue, or question ideas or beliefs they've fingered like sacred beads since they were children.

After all, they watch you do it, and you seem no worse for the risks you take. In fact, your eyes are wider and your breath quicker, and maybe they can find at least a bit of this for themselves. To be certain, they don't want their wheels to leave the ground, but maybe the next time they approach a speed bump they might just brace themselves and speed up just a little bit.



.... so, apparently I'm artistic, and what's wrong with two shades of blue?  LJ uses five.
 
 
to_the_garden
03 November 2007 @ 02:30 am
I have discovered that it is utterly impossible to find a company worldwide that will allow you to design your own glasses. I have an image in my mind of exactly what I'd like them to look like, which is from a dream that I had of what I would look like if I had been a random person during the 70's, who happened to be caught on stock film that was later used in vh1 special about drugs & woodstock that I watched the night before. I suppose I could just buy a simpler pair and go all crafts project on them, but that would require actual talent (and something other than hot glue).
 
 
Current Music: Just Impolite - Plushgun
 
 
 
 

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